By Kim Murphy on Sunday, December 11, 2011 11:55 pm
Many of us often have the idea that because it’s been years since we’ve been to treatment or started recovery or therapy, we shouldn’t have the “negative feelings” that we do. This can start us down the “shame spiral” or what some have referred to as “feeling bad about feeling bad”.
Synopsis:
Having "negative" feelings can feel like a failure or that we don't have enough of a positive attitude. Balancing positive attitudes with authentic feelings is tricky. But with support, we can bravely do this, facilitating our healing.
By Kim Murphy on Tuesday, September 6, 2011 9:30 pm
“That’s just the way I am”. How many times have we heard ourselves or someone else justify behavior with this statement? A more accurate statement might be “I don’t know how to act any differently”. The first proclamation smacks of an acceptance of personal qualities or behavior no matter their efficacy or value. In contrast, the latter assumes responsibility, optimistically creating th
Synopsis:
“That’s just the way I am”. How many times have we heard ourselves or someone else justify behavior with this statement?
The other day I ran into a friend who is also in recovery. We started talking about the ever-elusive idea of a life in balance. We recognized our tendencies to go toward one extreme or the other, to see people and events as either all good or all bad. This phenomenon is sometimes referred to as black and white thinking and many people who are in recovery struggle with it. In a way, this cognitive style can be useful. It may provide us with a sense of c
Synopsis:
When gray is good; the photographic process of white balance provides an apt analogy for a life in recovery.
What is recovery anyway? What’s the difference between sobriety and recovery? Both concepts may seem equally undesirable during the first phases of help-seeking for addiction, alcoholism or other behaviors that no longer serve us.
Synopsis:
No longer only for alcoholics, recovery can be applied to any behavior that we engage in that presents a "continuing and growing problem in any department..." of our lives. Often who we are is intertwined with our behaviors and when those behaviors are making our lives unmanageable, we may feel that to give them up is to give up who we are as people. Defining"sobriety" and "recovery" help to uncover their meaning.
Life in recovery is far from perfect but we get to be present for all aspects of it. We are better able to handle the complexities of life, not necessarily with ease but with integrity. We are also more present to appreciate moments of joy.
Brene Brown, a self-proclaimed “researcher/storyteller”, says that our ability to feel loved and accepted comes from having the belief that we are worthy of love and acceptance. Huh? Basically, we have to buy it. If we don’t allow it to be true, it won’t be. But how do we allow this to be true for us if we don’t feel it?
Synopsis:
As a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, Dr. Brown studies vulnerability, courage, authenticity and shame. She looked for the common themes in the people she studied who believe they are worthy of love and found this.
By Kim Murphy on Wednesday, April 20, 2011 8:30 pm
The spring season brings up many images of renewal. Flowers are blooming, babies are born; the world wakes from its winter sleep. This idea of rebirth can be easily applied to the inner work we do when we embark on the path of recovery. We leave the old way (soil, womb, sleep) for a new one (above ground, alive in the world and awake). I have a professor, Dr. Michael Wapner, who talks about change and how scary and threatening it is for most of us. Dr. Wapner likens our journey of change to that of a hermit crab.
Synopsis:
The process of change can be threatening. Like a hermit crab finding a new shell to inhabit, we too must endure a time of exposure and vulnerability when growing psychologically and emotionally.
Increasingly horses are becoming trauma healers through the fast growing profession of equine assisted therapy. Trauma responses are the human mind’s attempt to cope with the unimaginable. In some survivors, trauma can produce post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) with symptoms ranging from depression, anxiety, and drug and alcohol abuse to rage, dissociation and thoughts of suicide. These occur because the stress accompanying traumatic events demands coping strategies of the individual that far exceed their capabilities. Equine assisted therapy offers hope and encouragement for trauma survivors.
Synopsis:
Equine assisted therapy pairs horses with people to overcome emotional issues, conditions, & physical trauma.
The holiday blues can result when one experiences amplified levels of stress that often come with the anxiety of the usual expectations during this time.
Many of us often have the idea that because it’s been years since we’ve been to treatment or started recovery or therapy, we shouldn’t have the “negative feelings” that we do. This can start us down the “shame spiral” or what some have referred to as “feeling bad about feeling bad”. 
“That’s just the way I am”. How many times have we heard ourselves or someone else justify behavior with this statement? A more accurate statement might be “I don’t know how to act any differently”. The first proclamation smacks of an acceptance of personal qualities or behavior no matter their efficacy or value. In contrast, the latter assumes responsibility, optimistically creating th 
I used to think so. If I gave up some of that responsibility and surrendered, I’d be shirking my responsibilities! And I'd be weak!
The other day I ran into a friend who is also in recovery. We started talking about the ever-elusive idea of a life in balance. We recognized our tendencies to go toward one extreme or the other, to see people and events as either all good or all bad. This phenomenon is sometimes referred to as black and white thinking and many people who are in recovery struggle with it. In a way, this cognitive style can be useful. It may provide us with a sense of c 
What is recovery anyway? What’s the difference between sobriety and recovery? Both concepts may seem equally undesirable during the first phases of help-seeking for addiction, alcoholism or other behaviors that no longer serve us.
Brene Brown, a self-proclaimed “researcher/storyteller”, says that our ability to feel loved and accepted comes from having the belief that we are worthy of love and acceptance. Huh? Basically, we have to buy it. If we don’t allow it to be true, it won’t be. But how do we allow this to be true for us if we don’t feel it?